I arrive home after picking up A from daycare and a rather slow day in the clinic to find our internet’s on the fritz. Sigh…no Netflix to binge on until Husband’s home to fix it. I reluctantly flick on the TV to peruse our five staticky channels. I settle on an episode of Xpose, a daily Irish beauty and fashion show, where currently we—the audience—are being dazzled by the contents of a quasi-famous model’s designer hand bag. The highlights of which are various lipsticks, travel-size hand lotions, and a diamond studded iPhone 6.
I glance over at my cartoon bird-stamped hand bag in a heap beside me—it’s contents now strewn about the room thanks to my rambunctious two year old daughter.
“A! Look at this mess. Will you help Mommy clean it up?” I ask her, not wanting to stand unless absolutely necessary.
To my surprise A nods and says, “Yeah.” She bends down and begins handing me one by one the items that had been in my bag. I find it amusing that I have to justify to myself why in the world I have these particular objects in my possession. (Before you judge, remember it was a slow day at the clinic which means I end up spending most of my week’s wages at work.)
1) A squeaky dog toy in the shape of a pork chop. Juno and A love these. And let’s be honest, there’s a fine line between dogs’ toys and childrens’ toys.
2) My wallet. A tattered thing devoid of cash and full of paper business cards of fellow vets.
3) A tube of pink lipstick which A has converted into abstract art all over the floor.
4) A few pens “borrowed” from the clinic with the vet hospital logo on them.
5) A bag of cat treats. The cats have somehow learned to break into their treat drawer. I found an empty and mangled plastic treat bag next to two puddles of vomit last night.
6) Two cans of “blue spray”—a special topical antibiotic spray for sheep with sore feet requested by Father-in-law, or I should say Farmer-in-law.
7) Some extra needles and syringes—again for Farmer-in-law. (Don’t worry, they’re safe-all are sheathed and wrapped in plastic blister packs!)
8) A mirror and brush. I have to maintain some level of professionalism despite the various animal bodily fluids expelled and leaked on me through-out the day.
9) Canine ear medication and ear cleaner. Juno is prone to ear infections.
10) My slowly dying IPhone 4, solidly encased in a protective plastic exterior. Not very pretty, but essential as A likes to pretend to make phone calls before firing it across the room.
11) A Bounty bar (an Irish chocolate and coconut candy bar) that I picked up for Husband at the gas station; they’re his favorite.
12) Chicken de-wormer. That one is pretty self explanatory.
What’s in your hand bag?